Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
