Kareoke will never be a sober sport
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
