There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
