oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You ruined the universe
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
