Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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