i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
