"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
