"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
