Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
