Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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