just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
