I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize