The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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