i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
