i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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