If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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