He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
