none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
