i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Boobs speak an international language.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
