Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
wow bdsm is so cute
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
