Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
