barbara walters just said penis...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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