I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
