I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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