I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
