I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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