I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
