I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
