so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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