i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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