So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
