you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
