Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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