just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
