Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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