hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
