I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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