She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
