they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
