maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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