google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
