Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
