"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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