Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
