Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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