U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
