all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
