Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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