I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
