nut hugger
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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