I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
