remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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