She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
