ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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