you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
