Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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