are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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