dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
