if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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